My biggest, most expensive lesson in 2024
2024 was a crazy busy pivotal year for me. This was not an easy year - there were many challenges on the work side and personal side, with many moments of anger, tears and moments of despair.
And along the way, my heart filled with gratitude. I only made it this far with a lot of help from people I know, and people I just met. I am ever so thankful for these angels on my journey.
Here’s My Big Mistake
Because we decided to launch a group program, because my husband joined me in the business so we could expand (that’s his SuperPower) - I invested a LOT of money this year in the business.
For someone who grew up with an unhealthy relationship with money, that really means something. But I knew it was necessary because my Excel files and Google drive weren’t enough to support expansion.
The mistake I made was this - a large part of the money we spent was on one vendor who talked a good talk, but didn’t deliver (and actually made one key part of the equation much worse).
Normally, we wouldn’t have gone ahead because we saw the red flags, but we ignored our gut feeling and chose to believe logic. Because this person came highly recommended by someone we trust.
We already walked into one similar trap earlier in the year with a business opportunity, and then we repeated the experience with this vendor for our coaching business.
I've asked for, given and received so many recommendations and referrals over the years. "Is there anyone who you'd recommend for..." is often heard from my lips. There was just one difference with this one.
My gut was telling me "no". And I ignored it.
Problem is, I wanted to believe. And when that happens, you let your logic take over to justify the choice you wanted to make?
Can you think of the last time you let yourself make the wrong choice, believed the wrong person, when your gut was telling you to walk away?
OUR BLIND SPOT
We still believe the 2 people who referred these people to us, and we still trust them. Our blind spot was this -
You can’t trust the person being referred simply because you trust the referrer.
We spoke of the red flags, but chose to give the benefit of the doubt because we trusted the referrer. But… even though friends may be alike, they’re not the same person, one does not equal to the other - and... because they're not YOUR friend, they may treat you much differently.
This is not the first year I made this mistake. I once almost lost my entire skincare business to someone with malicious intent for the same reason. And now years later, I repeated the experience.
WHEN IT'S NOT A LIE... EVEN IF IT'S NOT TRUE
The “mistaken vendor hire” we made wasn’t acting out of malice, they simply weren’t capable of delivering what we need, and were happy to take our money. We saw that they talked a big talk, but we chose to believe because of the referral.
This aligns with what I learned about Lie Detection with the Dr. Paul Ekman group, the world expert on reading micro-expressions and lie detection - a lie isn’t a lie if the person telling the untruth believes it to be true!
Which means, if s/he believes it, it is their truth, so there is no lie to catch.
And sometimes both parties are wonderful, there just isn't a match. The hairdresser who couldn't quite get my hair right (but my friend's hair looked great), and the hairdresser I love dearly, both came through referrals.
TURNING MY SH*TTY EXPERIENCE INTO GOLD
I have to be honest, having almost nothing to show for the money I invested (and worse), being severely behind schedule on our launch and having to work even harder to make up for the work that was not done (working even harder = time and energy away from my family, my health, my sleep) - all this really triggered me.
I was upset, stressed, and I also felt really stupid, kicking myself for ignoring the obvious red flags.
I took my own advice, did the work, and turned this challenge into a stepping stone to heal my relationship with money. While there’s still work to be done, it’s already much better, and I know I’ll get there.
I certainly won’t thank the vendor, but I am genuinely grateful for the experience because it allowed me to transform a painful situation into something valuable—just as I guide my clients to do.
And even though this year was so physically demanding in terms of the sheer amount of work I had to do partly to make up for the work not done, I'm forever grateful because I love my work, I love my clients, and my work is part of what makes my life meaningful. And part of our busyness is because we have been building something new that we are really excited about. And…
THERE IS ALWAYS A SOLUTION
For each problem , there are a million solutions. Happily, we found awesome people to help us fix everything up - and much more. We may never have hired these people if we hadn’t gone through hell and back. This big gift is part 2 of our turning sh*t into gold. We are super, super thankful.
FOR A PERMANENT FIX, GO TO THE ROOT
For each problem, for the ultimate solution you need to identify the root cause by looking deep inside yourself. Instead of only blaming others, do you know why you made that choice? What your blind spots are? What do you need to fix in your thinking so you don’t repeat the experience again and again, as I did?
Since this was definitely a repeat experience, this time I know what beliefs and patterns are imprinted in my brain that caused it, and I know how to re-circuit them. I’m not interested in repeating my victim story, that’s no fun. How about you?
What I'm happy and thankful for in 2024
There were many happy moments in 2024. Here are 3 key milestones (the first I didn’t even realize till I counted just now).
I was Speaker at 64 events. 64! That’s a record, even for me.
I coached 35 senior leaders to achieve their career and personal goals.
Went ALL-IN - my husband and career CEO, Edward, quit his job and joined me as CEO for our business.
We will have 4 kids in university at the same time in a few short years, so this is saying a LOT. Now we’re both unemployed/self-employed.
We’ve found our pace so the tricky balance working together to run the business and run the family has/is coming together. These are some of the strategies I’m sharing in our Relationships That Work program that make relationships work.
I know what I want to create for my life in 2025 - these are my top 3:
Launching our Relationships That Work group coaching program on January 11! We've poured our hearts into making this program the best it can be for you - and now there's one last seat available. Check it out here
More Speaking engagements globally, especially in the U.S. and Europe
As I continue to grow and share my expertise, I’m looking for opportunities where I can make a real impact. And while I’ve always been a global speaker can coach, the balance of my work changed after COVID.
If you know of any events or conferences where I could contribute, I’d be truly grateful for an introduction. Helping others achieve their goals is what drives me, and your support in connecting me with the right people means the world. Thank you for being part of this journey!
My first podcast guest interview will be going live soon!
This year, I’m setting a goal to complete at least 12 podcast interviews, and I’d love your help in reaching that milestone.
If you know of any podcasts or hosts who might resonate with my message, I’d be grateful for an introduction. Your support means so much to me, and as I continue to grow, know that you're a part of this journey—thank you for being a part of the process!
What goals do you have for 2025? What are your priorities?
Signing off with love 💗
- Natalie
Here are 2 ways to work with me in 2025:
1. The Relationships That Work group coaching program. Our first cohort begins January 11 - there’s 1 last seat left, and I’m talking to several people these few days. If you’re interested to get the guidance, insight, clarity, accountability and support to re-create your life to make 2025 your pivotal year, click here to find out more.
2. 1:1 Leadership Coaching Program. I work with a highly select group of senior leaders to help them create the success and happiness they want in their careers and personal lives. I’m reducing the number of 1:1 clients I take on in 2025 - and have 1 seat open for February, and 1 seat for March. DM me if you’re interested.
- Natalie
