When sh*t hitting the fan is a good thing

My client, Taylor, just got firedHer reputation is ruined.She doesn't know if she’ll be able to get another job in the industry again.

All because of a toxic b*tch at work.

“𝗜 𝗴𝗼𝘁 𝗺𝘆𝘀𝗲𝗹𝗳 𝗶𝗻𝘁𝗼 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝘀𝗶𝘁𝘂𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻 𝗯𝗲𝗰𝗮𝘂𝘀𝗲 𝗜 𝗻𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗿 𝘀𝗽𝗲𝗮𝗸 𝘂𝗽,” said Taylor.

𝗔𝘀 𝗮 𝗰𝗼𝗮𝗰𝗵, 𝗹 𝗰𝗼𝘂𝗹𝗱 𝗷𝘂𝘀𝘁 𝘁𝗲𝗮𝗰𝗵 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗵𝗼𝘄 𝘁𝗼 𝘀𝗽𝗲𝗮𝗸 𝘂𝗽.

But no, that’s not what my clients come to me for.

𝗕𝗲𝗰𝗮𝘂𝘀𝗲 𝗶𝘁 𝘀𝗶𝗺𝗽𝗹𝘆 𝗱𝗼𝗲𝘀𝗻’𝘁 𝘄𝗼𝗿𝗸.

When I first started working, I used to be so scared of speaking up, I couldn’t even say anything in meetings.

So I took 2 Presentation Skills courses at work (thanks Goldman Sachs!).

I got better, slightly bolder.

But one thing I couldn’t understand was, 𝘄𝗵𝘆 𝗱𝗼𝗲𝘀𝗻’𝘁 𝗮𝗻𝘆𝗼𝗻𝗲 𝘁𝗲𝗮𝗰𝗵 𝗺𝗲 𝗵𝗼𝘄 𝘁𝗼 𝗻𝗼𝘁 𝗯𝗲 𝘀𝗼 𝘀𝗰𝗮𝗿𝗲𝗱 𝘁𝗼 𝘀𝗽𝗲𝗮𝗸 𝘂𝗽?

Because I could teach Taylor the words to say

I could script for her the way I do sensitive conversations for other clients.

𝗕𝘂𝘁 𝘂𝗻𝘁𝗶𝗹 𝗧𝗮𝘆𝗹𝗼𝗿 𝗵𝗮𝘀 𝗳𝗮𝗰𝗲𝗱 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗿𝗼𝗼𝘁 𝗰𝗮𝘂𝘀𝗲, 𝘀𝗵𝗲 𝗰𝗮𝗻’𝘁 𝗲𝘅𝗲𝗰𝘂𝘁𝗲 𝘄𝗲𝗹𝗹.

And she won’t feel any less scared, even if she looks confident.

“𝙒𝙝𝙚𝙣 𝙨𝙝*𝙩 𝙝𝙖𝙥𝙥𝙚𝙣𝙨, 𝙄 𝙨𝙝𝙪𝙩 𝙙𝙤𝙬𝙣.

𝙄 𝙩𝙝𝙤𝙪𝙜𝙝𝙩 𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙨 𝙢𝙖𝙙𝙚 𝙢𝙚 𝙨𝙖𝙛𝙚.”

As the participants of our Relationships That Work Program learned in our last class, trauma results in beliefs and behaviors which have a negative impact permeating the rest of our life, especially in how we handle conflict.

Including in our personal life.

And in our work life.

Just ask Taylor, who just lost her job because of her trauma.

Taylor’s father used to beat her whenever he felt like it.

And he felt like it, a lot.

And… her mother would stand there and watch, quietly, without making a sound.

𝗧𝗮𝘆𝗹𝗼𝗿 𝗶𝘀 𝗲𝘅𝘁𝗿𝗲𝗺𝗲𝗹𝘆 𝘁𝗮𝗹𝗲𝗻𝘁𝗲𝗱 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗵𝗮𝘀 𝗮𝗰𝗵𝗶𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗱 𝗺𝘂𝗰𝗵 𝗶𝗻 𝗵𝗲𝗿 𝗰𝗮𝗿𝗲𝗲𝗿.

But it has been difficult for her to get further ahead because of the way she (avoids) handles conflict.

She learned how to avoid conflict from her mom -

Stay silent to stay safe.

And…

You are never safe.

When I found out Taylor’s life just blew up

And after we figured out how to fire-fight to salvage her situation

𝗜 𝗰𝗼𝗻𝗴𝗿𝗮𝘁𝘂𝗹𝗮𝘁𝗲𝗱 𝗵𝗲𝗿.

Because hers was a disaster waiting to happen.

This is the catalyst she needed to learn the lesson, to heal from her wounds, to stop living as her mother - so she can be an even greater success.

Instead of feeling helpless, scared, or lost

Taylor is feeling… 😃

“𝙔𝙚𝙝 𝙞𝙩 𝙛𝙚𝙚𝙡𝙨 𝙜𝙤𝙤𝙙.”

“… 𝙗𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙠𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙤𝙪𝙩 𝙛𝙧𝙤𝙢 𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙨 𝙥𝙖𝙩𝙩𝙚𝙧𝙣 𝙛𝙚𝙚𝙡𝙨 𝙜𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙩!”

Taylor is making the crucial shift from victim/loser to winner.

𝗦𝗵𝗲’𝘀 𝘀𝘁𝗲𝗽𝗽𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗼𝘂𝘁 𝗳𝗿𝗼𝗺 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝘀𝗵𝗮𝗱𝗼𝘄𝘀 𝗼𝗳 𝗵𝗲𝗿 𝗽𝗮𝘀𝘁, 𝘁𝗼 𝘁𝗮𝗸𝗲 𝗰𝗼𝗻𝘁𝗿𝗼𝗹 𝗼𝗳 𝗵𝗲𝗿 𝗹𝗶𝗳𝗲 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗹𝗶𝘃𝗲 𝗶𝗻 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗽𝗿𝗲𝘀𝗲𝗻𝘁.

She doesn’t need your sympathy - she’s too busy executing the strategic turnaround plan we came up with, and practicing the new “speak up” communication skills I’ve been coaching her on.

She’s creating her new reality.

And if you can do this even when all sh*t hits the fan, 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗰𝗮𝗻 𝗱𝗼 𝗮𝗻𝘆𝘁𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗴.

If you’ve spent years staying silent to stay safe — maybe it’s time to ask yourself:

𝗪𝗵𝗮𝘁’𝘀 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗰𝗼𝘀𝘁 𝗼𝗳 𝗻𝗼𝘁 𝘀𝗽𝗲𝗮𝗸𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘂𝗽?

And what would life look like…
If you finally did?

𝗛𝗲𝗿𝗲 𝗮𝗿𝗲 𝟮 𝘄𝗮𝘆𝘀 𝘁𝗼 𝘄𝗼𝗿𝗸 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝗺𝗲:

1.⁠ ⁠𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗥𝗲𝗹𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝘀𝗵𝗶𝗽𝘀 𝗧𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗪𝗼𝗿𝗸 𝗴𝗿𝗼𝘂𝗽 𝗰𝗼𝗮𝗰𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗽𝗿𝗼𝗴𝗿𝗮𝗺 : I’m working on our next Relationships That Work Program intake, tentatively scheduled for September launch. If you’re interested to transform your home and work relationships to transform your life, DM me.

2.⁠ ⁠𝟭:𝟭 𝗟𝗲𝗮𝗱𝗲𝗿𝘀𝗵𝗶𝗽 𝗖𝗼𝗮𝗰𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗣𝗿𝗼𝗴𝗿𝗮𝗺: I work with a highly select group of senior leaders to help you get the clarity, strategy and take action to create the life you want. I’m opening up 2 spots in September, DM me if you’re interested.

-𝗡𝗮𝘁𝗮𝗹𝗶𝗲

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